I drove by your ex-girlfriend's house last night, saw your car, paused to contemplate a jealous rage but kept driving. I really didn't have plans to do what I did and it didn't just happen. It was destiny. She unveiled herself slowly over the months before, but now her message to me is undeniable and she was working, even through you, to help me see my way clear from this lie we call a relationship.
It was something in your kiss, you see. Something in your taste, that was all too familiar to me, when you strained to bend your lips to me on your way in the other night. You tasted the way you tasted when I found you. So I put 1 and 2 together, me on this lonely naked street and you... and your beautiful face cradled in the warmth of her ample hips and got a hypotenuse triangle in which the sum of the square of this long lasting love you have for her is equal to the length of my unrest; squared. My eyes welled with tears and I could barely see, as I drove away. But my ears engulfed the urgent wail of Johnnie Taylor's promise that all is not lost for a wondering soul of the night, dismissed from life as she new it: A compromising place where the straight play with their soul's salvation. Our room. Where there is only a bed and the lasting resonance of the piercing sounds of my surrender to your tongue. Unwavering shards of girl on girl passion. Unforgiving truth. An uncompromising heat sleeps with me. I sweat the tears of Sappho. Me and the Goddess up against the world and its hypocrisy - a hot seat that gives my skin an anxious itch.
My car pulled to an impatient stop as that Taurus talked turkey.
'Now who's making love to your old lady, while you were out making love?
And just like that, my heart was washed clean of anxiety and flushed with the anticipation of revenge; the Scorpio cure, as I pulled down the visor, touched up my mascara, and hypnotized myself.
It was something in your kiss, you see. Something in your taste, that was all too familiar to me, when you strained to bend your lips to me on your way in the other night. You tasted the way you tasted when I found you. So I put 1 and 2 together, me on this lonely naked street and you... and your beautiful face cradled in the warmth of her ample hips and got a hypotenuse triangle in which the sum of the square of this long lasting love you have for her is equal to the length of my unrest; squared. My eyes welled with tears and I could barely see, as I drove away. But my ears engulfed the urgent wail of Johnnie Taylor's promise that all is not lost for a wondering soul of the night, dismissed from life as she new it: A compromising place where the straight play with their soul's salvation. Our room. Where there is only a bed and the lasting resonance of the piercing sounds of my surrender to your tongue. Unwavering shards of girl on girl passion. Unforgiving truth. An uncompromising heat sleeps with me. I sweat the tears of Sappho. Me and the Goddess up against the world and its hypocrisy - a hot seat that gives my skin an anxious itch.
My car pulled to an impatient stop as that Taurus talked turkey.
'Now who's making love to your old lady, while you were out making love?
And just like that, my heart was washed clean of anxiety and flushed with the anticipation of revenge; the Scorpio cure, as I pulled down the visor, touched up my mascara, and hypnotized myself.
'Damn, I looked good, ' I said out loud, just to make sure you weren't still caught in my throat.
'What was she thinking'? I spoke again as I stepped from the car. My voice was soothing and deep with that seductive kind of pain born of American blues as, for a moment, I pictured you with your mouth on her. I, myself, tasting her again, I convinced myself to stay angry enough to go through with this. Reminding myself that this was to me more than an affair, but a change I channel the fever into fervor, using the intensity for the long walk up the path that lay ahead of me. I hadn't worn those red stilettos in far too long. A gust of wind swept beneath me lifting the hem of my swing coat, and with a cool fingertip, touched my naked Punany and felt her blush.
When I rang the doorbell, he fell running to it and knocked over the umbrella stand when he hugged me. Now I blushed, remembering men and their natural response to me. The utter suspension of their intelligence at the mere promise of Punany is blinding. I could barely see you anymore, even in my mind.
While, for lesbians, there really is no mystery. You bleed, I bleed and we try not to kill each other in between. He played a song for me on his baby grand, and did a little tap dance while he rolled sushi and fried tempura vegetables. He made a jingle of my name and clicked his heels in mid air. We Orbited together and booked that little trip to Vegas I've been bugging you about. You know the one you put a deposit on and just couldn't make that last payment on?
...and for a while, in his bed, I dismissed my hang-ups, let my father lay quiet in his grave. Surrendered completely to natural love, the way my mother taught me it was intended to be. He milked the poisonous venom of rejection from every part of me and from my mouth came only sweetness, for a good change.
I awoke, just hours before the police retreated from the streets and skies. Every muscle aching, even the hair on my head rejuvenated, my skin... a natural glow that does not come in one of those bottles my skin has been obsessing over. It was nearly 5 in the morning when I returned home. You did not stir as I showered, put on my pajamas, top and bottom, and slid between the sheets.
You had not even noticed I was gone.
But I am.
Jessica Holter
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